Clearing Up Cliches

One way to perk up our prose is to incorporate various stylistic devices. Another way is to revise or even cut words or phrases that can better be said in another way. Cliches are one such thing we can revise.

Remember, our purpose as novelists is to give our readers an emotional experience. Since cliches are, well…cliches, little or no emotion is invoked when the reader reads them. In order to get a grasp of how to best rewrite cliched phrases, we must first consider what emotion we want to describe.

If our characters are shaking in their boots, they are obviously afraid. How else can we describe fear? One of the best examples I’ve read comes from the late Douglas Adams:

"He inched his way up the corridor as if he would rather be yarding his way down it." This quote gives the reader a visual image and helps us "feel" Arthur Dent creeping up the corridor. It conveys the emotions of fear and dread.

It takes effort to come up with descriptions that aren’t tired and overused. For instance, a critiquer told me I needed a punchier opening sentence (don’t we all?). One that would immediately introduce the reader to the lead character, the tone or genre of the novel, show some emotion, and intrigue the reader enough to continue. So, how could I convert my lame opening into one sentence that could fill the order?

First, I called for backup. My son has an imagination that never ends. He immediately agreed that my first sentence needed scrapped and asked me that magic question, "What emotion is it that your character is feeling?" I knew the answer. Dread. She would rather do anything than what she was about to do. When I told him that, he asked, "What do women dread?" I mentally listed things I dread the most, bypassed things such as mammograms (my son is 17–didn’t want to get into all of that with him), and stopped when I reached plucking eyebrows. I’d rather wear my glasses than pluck my unibrow so I’ll look decent in contact lenses.

Since he’d never experienced eyebrow plucking, he ventured into the bathroom and returned with some tweezers. Ouch. He agreed this task merited the feeling of dread. Since my novel is Chick Lit, we decided we needed an "over-the-top" description of eyebrow plucking. My son played with the tweezers for a few minutes and realized they worked in a similar manner as chop sticks. Viola! We had the opening:

"Plucking my eyebrows with chopsticks would be a welcome alternative to the task on my agenda this evening." The sentence shows the character’s dread. Introduces the character’s sassy manner, setting the tone for the novel. Plus, hopefully the reader will be intrigued and begin wondering, "What’s on her agenda?"

Yes, plopping in a cliche is much easier than spending the 20-minute brainstorming process my son and I did to develop that line. Every sentence in your novel might not need that much attention, but considering the job of the opening sentence, I felt it was time well spent. And those with whom I’ve shared that sentence felt it was a great opening line for the novel. Woo-hoo!

Although I haven’t personally used any, there are some programs available that seek out cliches from your writing. "Cliche Finder" and "Cliche Cleaner" are two that I am aware of. If you’ve used either of these programs, please share your thoughts about them.

Today’s Exercise:

Tell what emotion the following cliches are attempting to describe. Rewrite at least one of the cliches. Please share your answers.

1. She drew a blank.
2. The committee was at loose ends.
3. Don’t get all bent out of shape!
4. She loves him, but he doesn’t give a plug nickel about her.
5. That was too close for comfort!

Linda’s Status–October 30, 2006

I need to become accountable for several areas I’m working on, so I’ve decided to post periodic status updates with my goals and goals achieved. I will hopefully do this every Monday. If I forget, you have permission to nag me! Since this is the first post on this topic, I’ll post my goals for the coming week. Next week, I will update how the week went.

• Physical: I wish to lose 60 pounds. Thus far I have done nothing to accomplish any weight loss. This week my goal is to cut out junk food and exercise at least 20 minutes per day. Plus, I need to begin drinking water daily.
• Writing: This month I had serious computer issues for 10 days and became very frustrated and depressed, but now I have no more excuses–my sweet husband (a.k.a. Santa Claus) bought me a new Mac for Christmas a few months early. BUT all I’ve done since we set it up a few days ago is play with the dashboard widgets! This week’s goal: to finish polishing the sample chapters and proposal and submit it to my critique partners. After the conference, I learned from several paid critiques that my WIP was not as finished as I thought (Ha!), and I’ve pretty much scrapped everything past the first few chapters. So…I’ll be using NaNoWriMo as a motivating tool to finish my WIP. That means my daily word goal is 1667.
• Spiritual: With such high aspirations for physical and writing areas of my life, I’ll need to seek encouragement from the Word as well as prayer. Plus, I have so many friends with dire needs–health-wise and otherwise. I must not neglect the important things to make room for the urgent.
• Habits: I need to quit goofing off with my new "toy" and realize my husband bought this computer to be used as a working tool. I am grateful for his gift and I need to use it wisely.

If any of you wish to add your goals to the comments, we can pray together as we seek to serve Him in our writing and in our daily lives.

Alliterations

Welcome to the new "Perk Up Your Prose" blog workshop! I’d love for everyone to share their comments and/or examples for the featured tool of each post.

I met with a group of inspirational writers a few days ago, and we shared with each other a few pages from our current Works in Progress. In the few pages I read (Genre: Chick Lit), my lead character had a close encounter with an annoying cat. Her internalization during the incident read, "I resisted the urge to boot the beast." One of the listeners later asked if I was aware that I had used several alliterations throughout the piece, and she used that phrase as an example. Yes, actually, I was aware of the usage of a few alliterations, but I was pleased that someone else had noted my efforts to perk up my prose.

What exactly is an alliteration? An alliteration is the repetition of consonants in neighboring words. And, like all prose-perking tools, alliterations are like a good seasoning–a little will spice up your writing. Too much, and your writing will become too spicy to tolerate. (Think: Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers." Some literary techniques are more mild in nature, however alliterations are powerful, like cayenne pepper, so use sparingly unless you are purposefully producing a comic effect.

Popular usages of alliterations are Character Names (Mickey Mouse); Advertising–Product Names and Promotional Buzz Words & Phrases (Coca-Cola, Baby Boom, Final Four); and Literature and Poetry (if you’ve ever read Beowulf…).

Here’s an exercise:

Write an ad slogan for a new product and use alliteration(s) for your product’s name, the tagline, or somewhere in the slogan. Share your examples through the comments section if you wish. Everyone who posts an example to the exercises during the Perk Up Your Prose workshop (most likely through the end of November) will have their name entered in a weekly drawing to receive one of my excess books on the craft of writing. Hubby says I have to give away, sell, or *gasp* burn (I’m sure he was kidding on that one) some of the books from my overstuffed shelves!

Queries, Proposals & One Sheets–Oh, My! Part III

If you Google the word “synopsis,” it’s amazing how many times the word “dreaded” is used to modify it. Writing a synopsis is a challenging project, but the word should convey excitement, not dread, for there are basically two purposes for writing a synopsis:

1. You’ve got a great new idea for a novel and you want to get it all down and get started.
2. You’ve finished (or nearly finished) a novel and you’re preparing to pitch it.

Both of those are exciting, positive concepts. So, let’s not dread writing the synopsis!

The synopsis begins with a hook, just like your query letter. Some authors use the same opening paragraph, and why not? If it caught someone’s attention enough in the query to get an invite to submit an entire proposal, you probably have a great hook.

The hook should pique the reader’s interest and pose the story question. In fact, some authors put their opening sentence in the form of a question. If you’ve seen “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” then this hook will be familiar to you:

“Can a Greek ugly duckling find happiness with her WASP prince charming, in spite of her colorful, interfering family?”

In one sentence, that hook introduces the main characters (Greek ugly duckling, WASP prince charming), as well as the three main story elements: Goal (prince charming); Motivation (find happiness); and Conflict (Greek/WASP cultural differences, plus her colorful, interfering family). As a bonus, that hook also introduces the reader to the supporting cast. It even gives us a glimpse at the whimsical tone of the story.

For examples of great hooks, read the log lines on movies. There are a number of movie databases online to browse. Another place to browse hook examples is an online bookstore. There are also a number of those.

As you’re reading hooks, (yes, this is a homework assignment!), watch for the introduction of Goal, Motivation, and Conflict, the main characters, perhaps the setting, theme, and/or tone. Pick some good ones and label those elements. Share them with us in the comments if you’d like.

Next we’ll discuss other parts of the synopsis, but the hook is definitely the most important. If you don’t hook ‘em with that opening, they won’t need to read any further.

You Know You’re a Writer When…

…you hear the phrase “NaNo” and don’t
immediately think of an iPod.

Yes, it’s time once again to gear up for NaNoWriMo–National Novel
Writing Month. Exactly what is NaNoWriMo? It’s an insane exercise shared by
novelists worldwide to add 50,000 words to their Work in Progress (WIP) during
the month of November.

But,
November only hath 30 days! Why’d they pick November? I have no clue. But
NaNoWriMo was started by a bunch of Bay Area writers in 1999, and it has grown
in its short lifetime to reach writers in every corner of the planet.
(Technically, the planet is ROUND, and therefore doesn’t have corners, but bear
with me on that, okay?)

Are
YOU up to the challenge? Forget pumpkin pies and candy-making and stuffing
the turkey and family gatherings and fall cleaning and decorating with little scarecrows
& Indian corn–this is serious! The 50K challenge breaks down to 1667 words
per day. That’s not quite 70 words per hour–just over a word a minute if you
really want to break it down. Not an insurmountable task. And most of us have
jobs. And families. And other responsibilities. But, it’s very doable.

If you’d like to learn more about NaNoWriMo, click HERE to go to the NaNoWriMo site. Please be warned, however, that these
people are techies at heart. They’ll try to get you to place countdown tickers
and word count counters that require unheard of acronyms, such as SQL or php or
Java, whatever all that means, to operate. It’s okay to write your 50,000 words
without all the techie stuff.

Recruiting Nag Patrol Members. If you’d like to join my Nag Patrol,
and ridicule me publicly on my blog if I forget to post my daily word count,
please e-mail me privately.

It all begins November 1st…

(BTW…I haven’t forgotten about the proposal workshop–been busy re-designing my web. I’ll let everyone know when it’s posted. Thanks for your patience. I’ll get back to that shortly!)

Queries, Proposals & One Sheets–Oh, My! Part II

What’s the difference between a synopsis and a proposal?

A proposal is a package of information used to market a book project, first to an editor or agent, then to the editorial committee, and portions may even be distilled and used by the publishing house’s marketing team, which uses the information to sell the book to a wholesaler, who then pitches the book to booksellers, who in turn uses the pitch (often appearing as back cover copy by this point) to consumers, who, by word of mouth, will “pitch” the book to their friends. A piece of work with that much travel time ahead of it needs to be in perfect condition at the beginning of its quest.

A synopsis is one section of the proposal package. The word synopsis originated from Late Latin and evolved to its Greek form, “syn,” meaning “together,” and “opsis,” which means “view.” (Think: optometry, optical, etc.) Today’s connotation is a general overview, usually of a written work.

Depending on the agent/editor’s preferences (check their submission guidelines), other sections of the proposal include: a cover letter; proposal title page; proposal summary; proposal table of contents; synopsis; sample chapters; marketability section; and a self-addressed, stamped envelope;

Over the next few posts, we’ll discuss the major sections of a novel proposal, beginning with the synopsis.

Queries, Proposals & One Sheets–Oh, My! Part I

Judy posed a great question–”What is the difference between a proposal and a synopsis?” I’ll attempt to answer it by discussing the whole pitching process. And hopefully I won’t throw you any curve balls! LOL

When a novelist has a manuscript ready to “pitch”–either to an agent for representation or to an editor of a publishing house to contract–the first piece of paper to be delivered depends upon the circumstances. If you are meeting face to face, such as at a conference, then a one sheet would be appropriate. If you are pitching your novel via e-mail or snail mail, then a query letter would be used.

The purpose for these two documents (and I’ll explain them in detail shortly) is basically an introduction–to both you and your novel. Think of them as a handshake. Hi! I’m Linda the novelist and I have this uber awesome novel idea…only you don’t say it that way. Because that’s TELLING. We need to SHOW the editor/agent that our idea is the best book to come across their desk in ages.

A one sheet can be adapted for many purposes. I have a sample one sheet on my web site that I use to solicit speaking engagements. The first page has a picture of me (speaking), a short bio, and a brief synopsis of some of my more popular speaking topics. Side two includes a side bar of the benefits my keynote should provide an audience, a few endorsements on my book, and a couple of brief excerpts from the book. (I print these in full color on medium weight semi-gloss photo paper. If you do this, make sure the paper is glossed on both sides if you require a two-sided one sheet to promote yourself/your work. It may be called “brochure” paper on the package.)

When using a one sheet to pitch to an agent/editor, the concept is similar. You may only need to use one side for this purpose, however, depending upon your experience. Some authors put their picture, bio, and the novels they are pitching on side one and blurbs (with book cover pics) about their published works on side two. If you’re not yet published, you could put a one-page synopsis about the book you’re pitching on side two. Or, if you have more than one project, a paragraph synopsis of each would do.

That is what I did at the recent conference, and I learned a valuable lesson. I pitched four novels, but they were from three genres. That’s when I learned all about branding and have posted about that topic a couple of times earlier this week. One more side note on branding, then we’ll get to queries…Branding oneself is more than just selecting which genre you wish to write in. You must find a niche, something unique to your writing–an area you are well qualified to write on–and stick with it. For example, Camy Tang writes not just Chick Lit, but Asian Chick Lit. She is well versed in the Asian culture because she is Asian. I had to make a choice of which area of Chick Lit to write. I have made a decision but haven’t announced it yet–wait until my new web design is complete!

A query letter can be sent through e-mail or regular mail, but be sure to check the agent/editor’s submission preferences. Some prefer e-mail; others reject it. You can find this information in the various writer’s market guides. An excellent choice for Christian writers is Sally Stuart’s Christian Writer’s Market Guide. These guides are produced annually, usually in bookstores around the first of the year. Write a letter to Santa and ask him to pre-order you one for Christmas!

The query consists of several parts and is laid out like a regular business letter. First of all, ensure you have the correct spelling of the acquisition’s editor or agent’s name you wish to submit to. You’ve heard to never call a publisher unless you’re told. It is okay, however, to call the publishing house’s receptionist and verify the name/spelling of a specific editor. You won’t be pestering the editor, and if the name is misspelled, you just received strike one.

The market guides are excellent tools, but remember, they gather the information months before they are printed. People change jobs, etc. It’s best to double check unless you know the person. And if you are a new novelist, few houses will accept submissions, sometimes even queries, without an agent. Check on that, too. Don’t waste your time, postage money, and raise your blood pressure in suspense only to receive a rejection that could have been avoided by simply not submitting to a house that isn’t accepting queries.

After the address line, the first paragraph is a hook. Think of the blurbs used on back cover copy. This paragraph SHOWS the editor/agent why this book MUST be produced and distributed to the hands of readers worldwide. It needs to be, as Randy Ingermanson would say, BRILLIANT!

I have a sample Query Letter on my web site, too. This is from my nonfiction book, and this query landed me an agent/author agreement. He said the Title and the Hook grabbed him from the beginning. That’s the purpose of a hook.

The next paragraph should be a short description of the novel–including who the main characters are; the story’s setting; its theme(s); the book’s length; and whether or not it is part of a series.

Next, I like to bold & center the book’s title. I saw this in one book on writing queries, but most instructions/samples don’t include this suggestion. It’s up to you, and if you do this, place it in the most logical place in the letter. (See my query for an example of how I chose where to put the title.)

You should then include the book’s take-away value. Why should readers read this book? What will they benefit for spending a half-day ignoring the kids, letting the house go, forgetting they had planned to mow the yard?

Finally, conclude your query by telling why YOU are the one to write this novel. For example, my prodigal daughter story–I was a prodigal daughter. I had experience. I knew what it was like. I’d never seen a book written from the prodigal’s point of view–just books from parents, pastors, counselors, etc. Who better to write a book about prodigals than a returned prodigal?

If you’re writing a medical thriller and you work in the medical profession, say so. It your book is a court room drama and you’re a bailiff, let the agent/editor know. I’m there. I see what goes on. I’m qualified to write this book.

End with your contact information and a line thanking him or her for considering your project. Courtesy is important. Editors/agents are very busy people. Let them know you appreciate their time.

This was a lot of information for one post. If you have questions or comments, please let me know. We’ll go on to synopses and proposals next. It will take several posts to cover those topics.

Hope everyone has a great FRIDAY! Woo-hoo! It’s the weekend!

Linda

About Branding…

I know, it sounds painful! LOL

Camy brought up a great point in her comment on yesterday’s post. “Chick Lit” in and of itself is not a brand. It’s a genre. And distinguishing oneself from the pack in ideas and quality is what makes or breaks authors in this highly competitive business.

There are some things about Chick Lit that have almost become cliché–expensive handbags & shoes, for example. Therefore, my lead character in this first book and/or series (one can hope!) is NOT a Hermes handbag sort of girl. In fact, she’s an ex-jock. Played basketball. She’s a professional photographer who has trouble drumming up business (I mean, EVERYONE owns a digital camera & an HP printer, right?), so she starts shooting sporting events. I know a LOT of women who are big sports fans, so this will open up an audience that hasn’t been “written to” very often in Christian fiction.

My first Chick Lit book is also a murder mystery, which is a very popular genre right now. However, lots of Chick Lit writers are pumping out mysteries, so that in and of itself wouldn’t help me set my book apart. I’m using an atypical setting, though–the Ozarks. Few fiction books are set there, even though it’s a pristine area with a fascinating history.

Native Americans were afraid of the Ozark mountains due to the mist that often hangs on the hills. Many believed evil spirits clung to the mountains and travelers usually gave the Ozarks a wide berth–going many miles out of their way. Native Americans sometimes punished wrongdoers by cutting them off from the community. Being exiled was often feared more than death. And where did many tribes send those who were ostracized? Yep. The Ozarks! Also, outlaws on the lam often hid out in the Ozark Mountains. There was enough wood, water, game, and caves to supply everything one needed to stay out of reach of the long arm of the law for a LONG time. Yeah, these mingled with other settlers and became the Ozark area’s ancestors.

Another way to make my book “special” is the theme. (And this is where the “branding” iron comes into play.) I have intertwined a theme, without being “preachy,” throughout my writings that began when I wrote my nonfiction book, The Prodigal Daughter. That theme is “It’s okay to come home.” Many Christians have left the church, their families, etc., and aren’t sure what to do to reconcile. Reconciliation and God’s loving arms receiving back the prodigals will play an important role throughout my fiction writing.

My lead character hasn’t drifted deep into the pit of sin, but she has turned her back on God and her family. I want my book to show her struggles with this issue in a realistic story that includes lots of humor and intrigue as well. Many people have witnessed that they became convicted to serve the Lord after reading a Christian novel. I hope to reach those who may be afraid to step foot in a church building at this time, but who are willing to read an inspirational novel. Hopefully, they’ll be…inspired!

Where in the World is Linda Fulkerson?

I apologize to my readers, or Blogees, as Brandilyn Collins calls her blog readers.

I’ve been concentrating on several other major projects and my poor blog has taken a back seat. Hopefully y’all know how it is with family, a full-time job, a farm, etc., etc.

What projects, you ask? Well, at the ACFW conference, I was invited to submit a complete proposal of the Chick Lit novel I’ve been working on. It’s about “this close” from being done, so I’m racing to finish it plus write the proposal.

Plus, I learned at the conference the importance of an author “branding” oneself. My one sheet pitched four novels in three different genres. Both an editor and an agent commented that it would be nearly impossible for them to help launch a writing career for someone with such scattered interest. Basically, I was told (and discussed this at length with many of my well-published friends) to pick a genre and stick to it.

I’ve thought about it. Prayed about it. Discussed it with my friends & critique partner. And the overwhelming conclusion is that I have a strong Chick Lit “voice,” and since that was the project that piqued an editor’s interest, I should submit it. (Why didn’t he pick one of the FINISHED projects? LOL)

Therefore, I’ve been working to “brand” myself as a Chick Lit author. Now, what does that entail? My one sheet, my business cards, my web site & blog, (does black & white say “Chick Lit” to you? I didn’t think so!), all need to be redesigned. A major undertaking to say the least.

I still want to start the promised series titled “Perking up Your Prose,” and hopefully I’ll get that going very soon. In the meantime, just so you’ll know that I haven’t fallen off the planet, I’ll post regular project progress reports on my blog and maybe y’all can join the “nag patrol” and encourage me to keep after it and get that proposal in the mail by the end of October, which is what I told the editor.

Thanks for your patience & thanks for continuing to post comments, even when I was “absent.” Oh, and I forgot all about posting my last two lessons on Esther. I’ll try to remember to do that later today or in the morning. Feel free to remind me about that, too!

I hope everyone has a great day!
Linda